I was out with 2 very good buddies for dinner at Orchard yesterday. It was a good time of catching up on each other's lives, ending off with the usual talk about GIRLFRIENDS. Not that I am attached already, but when you reach my age, the topic about whether you have found your partner yet will somehow spring out from every possible corner and grab you whether you expect it or not. For example, our dinner discussion was one that I considered pleasant and affirming cos we decided to talk about it and we actually were affirmed coming out of the conversation.
In other situations, things might not turn out quite the same way. Take for example my Grandfather's birthday 2 nights ago. (Some parts are fabricated. I get to use my imagination on my blog. Ha ha.)
Auntie: "Wah, big boy already ah! Now so handsome already ah! Wah girl (looking at her daughter...) See, kor kor so handsome now! Coooome. Call kor kor!
Me: "Ermm... didn't you just see me like one month ago?"
Auntie: "Ha ha ha. Oooh. Yah hor, but still handsome lah."
Me: "So, I am more handsome than one month ago ah? Wah not bad leh." (things are surprisingly going very positively...)
Auntie: "Ha ha ha. Yah! More handsome now. (But before you know it...) So... Got girlfriend already???"
Me: "Don't have lah. Soon lah soon lah. (Smile shyly...) So where am I sitting ah?"
Ha ha. Ok, I must confess that the part about girlfriend was added in and I am not trying to make fun of my auntie. I do love her. But it is an all together possible situation don't you think??! And at such gatherings of relatives, it might happen up to 3-5 times a night!
I thank God that my brother and me have reached a stage where we are not bothered but such talk. Indeed, like my brother said, "What's the hurry?" Well, true to a certain extent. I guess we are both stable and self-assured enough to know that He who created us will bless at the right time. In the meanwhile, there are other important things in life to focus on.
I remember this illustration that I really appreciate. If 2 people go into a relationship and the nature of that relationship is that of a letter "A", meaning both people leaning and depending heavily on each other with their sole focus on each other, the relationship is unhealthy. When one person is down the other loses the support and crashes too. A healthy relationship should actually reflect the letter "H". This is where both parties lead stable lives and are able to help each other when one is down. Their focus is not so much on each other, but rather on living intentionally and building a stable and healthy life that maximises the potential that one has been blessed with.
At this point in my life, I do think that I am ready for a "H" relationship. But if you are not, then there is much value in waiting and building your life first. From a Christian perspective, take time to grow deep in God and learn how to love Him the way He wants you to. Pray that whoever your future partner is, he/she is taking time to do that too. I've learnt that that is the best thing you can ever do for your relationship - focus on growing into the person that will be the best for your future mate. Well, I guess that makes me pretty eligible doesn't it? Ha ha.
Still on the topic of family gatherings, here's something else that happened.
Cousin: (whispering suspiciously to her brother) "Who is that ah? What is his name ah? Hee hee.."
Dad: "Wah! You mean you don't remember who I am ah?! HOW CAN??! Cannot like that ah. I am Uncle Vincent!
Cousin: "Ah! Yes! Yah hor yah hor."
Dad: "So, where are you schooling now?"
Cousin: (talks briefly about school)
Dad: (to me) "So what is her name ah? I can't remember also."
Me: (to my bro beside me) "Eh, what is her name ah? I know start with 'S' one."
Bro: "Eh... Cindy? (start with S lah!)... Sindy? Shirley? Sherry? Sharlene? Shardonnay? (Start with SSSSSSS Lah!)
Me: "I think Shirleen is it?"
Bro: "Oh yah oh yah. I think it is."
Me: "Eh, you try to test and call her?!"
Bro: (silence)
Me: (messages Cousin 2...) "Eh... ask you ah, Shaun's sister is Shirleen is it?"
Cousin 2: (messages back...)"Aiyo! YAH! You mean you don't know they are brother and sister ah????!"
Me: "...*#$&^&! ...No lah! I know that they are brother and sister! Just want to confirm her name lah."
Cousin 2: "Oooo. Yah. Her name is Shirlyn. Not the way you spelled it."
Me: (loudly so Dad and bro can hear...) "Shirlyn! So are you and your brother in the same school?"
Cousin 1 aka Shirlyn: "Huh???! No lah. Just now we say liao mah. I Bukit Batok, he Bukit View!" (my bro chips in...) "Yah! wah lau eh, never listen properly ah?? So Shirlyn what CCA are you in?"
All Of Us: "GIRLS' BRIGADE LAH!!!! Just now say so many times liao!!!!!!!"
Ha ha ha. Talk about dysfunctional families. We had many good laughs that night. Though, on a more serious note, I did have a chance to talk with my uncle (Shirlyn's father) that night and found out from him that because of work, he is seldom at home with the kids. In fact, the kids are closer to their mother. He doesn't really know how they do in school or what their lives are like. But he provides for them the way he knows how to best. By continuing the business my grandfather started many years ago. Business is affected by the haze but life goes on. Seriously, at that moment, I felt the pain of the father's heart.
My uncle is not very educated and so he understands the value of a good education for his kids and tries his best to give it to them. Even at the cost of the long hours at work. I felt for him cos I know that given a choice, he would want to spend more time knowing his children. And being brought up in a typical chinese family, outwardly expressing one's love is not something done easily. I feel for him. And so I encourage all of you out there whose parents work long hours, appreciate them, cos they do it for you. Make an effort to let them know you appreciate their sacrifice and that you love them dearly.
Back to my dinner outing with QS and YL. After dinner, we took a walk and ended up at Youth Park where I chanced upon these amazing flying creatures - Kites. Remote-controlled ones that is, with shiny LED lights forming an almost surreal trail wherever they floated, glided, soared.
Seeing it live in action, I hope to learn how to fly one of these someday. It is truely amazing watching them. They come in a variety of sizes and shapes, the most flexible one being the Pro III.
Click on image to see more clearly It was truly mesmirising watching these kites take to the air. With practice and more pratice, you can make the Pro III hover, rotate in mid air, nose dive, glide gracefully and doing many other stunts. Here's just an example of what these kites are capable of. You can also find more information at
http://www.goflykite.com/index.html.
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